unforgiving, unapologetic parents

I think they must get these notions from the way they were raised, but I'm astonished how many parents seem to think it totally undermines their 'power' if they ever apologize about anything, or admit, in any way, shape or form, that they might just possibly have been wrong about something (am reminded here of my dad making a joke about that very thing, acting like the Fonz in Happy Days - he was constitutionally incapable of saying "I was wrong". Instead he would do this sort of false stutter thing, "I was wr.... I was wr-wr-wr..." but could never actually get the whole word out. It was sort of funny when my dad did this, but also annoying as shit, because it just distracted from the fact that he still never fucking apologized. So there was always this churny sort of sick feeling in your gut that he was pulling something over on you, in addition to being pissed about whatever it was he'd done to make you mad in the first place. Fucking bullshit. Damn, but the whole parenting thing is so fucked up! Alice Miller, people, read your Alice Miller. Break the goddamn chain. Do something fucking different for a change. Definition of insanity and all that... use that so-called 'intelligence', that oh-so-logical brain that you're always bragging about for something other than a frickin' doorstop already. Fer fuck's sake.)

And at the same time these flawless, above-reproach parents are so fucking harsh and critical - so judgmental, so fucking godlike in their absolute unwillingness to show any kind of leniency or understanding. They just come down like a hammer, smashing you into tiny pieces so that they can feel better about themselves for all the times they've been smashed down in their lives. Fucking stupid-ass pieces of shit.

Maybe this is where the whole concept of god comes from? I've often thought this, that people created god to explain all the things that don't make sense to them - a sort of celestial repository for all the unwanted thoughts, fears, needs, etc. Kind of like a mental attic, where all the old, unresolved emotional crap can pile up unnoticed and unheeded. "Give it to god, he'll take care of it."

And the god thing can be a way to mentally let parents off the hook - it displaces the unthinkable, unpalatable recognition that those who brought you into the world see you as no more than a verbal, emotional punching bag on which to take out their old hurts, wounds, resentments. God offers a convenient escape hatch from everything we can't face up to, we can hand him anything that's too big or scary to deal with on our own. That untouchable, unreachable 'parent' on high, on whom we can dump all our responsibilities and cares. A massive delusion, mass psychosis.

Wonder why they don't have it listed in the DSM? Answer: Religion is convenient for the power-mongers. It's an excellent way to keep the sheep distracted.