Challenged to believe that it really happened, that I felt what I felt.
The cup is empty again.
It is like food: Imagination doesn’t do the trick. The real, actual, tangible thing is NECESSARY. Not optional.
Argh.
***
***
What he did for me is this:
Every time I needed him? He was there. He listened; he held me. He gave me strength, and courage. And peace.
And, like a sunflower, I grew toward the light. Happy sunflower :-)
***
It is like learning a language, only – backwards? In other words, I have to overwrite the old one, unlearn it.
And, like learning *any* language, it’s an iterative process – it occurs over some period of time, with many repetitions.
Eradication of the old beliefs.
No shame.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
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3 comments:
He gave you love.
Thanks, Michael!
Yes. I have difficulty naming this feeling - it's almost like a superstition, as if, by calling attention to it, it will go away. So I am very careful with it (wary? not the same thing, I know), not to hurt it or frighten it. I try not to cling, except when it is - permitted? encouraged? allowed? somewhere in there.
in fact, he did not turn away from me at any time. Nothing I did frightened him. This is the first time in my life. It was very powerful, still is.
I will say this more positively, with certainty: This is very powerful for me. A very big healing is happening for me! :-) ♥
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