any contest of wills - *doom* that child to forever? (hopefully not!) chasing after the ‘success’ that was denied them in childhood.
These parents are selfish and greedy in a most essential way: They deny the child that which allows her to GROW in her *own* estimation – to develop her ‘power’, so to speak. Her ability to act, without fear, in the world.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
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5 comments:
Much is made of parents that put their own needs first. I think it is deeper than that. Some parents need to take. In a way trying to take what would be freely given out of love and yet can not be taken and only received with love.
Interesting thought - not entirely sure I understand it! But will think about it.
My mom was taking care of my nieces one day while I was there, and she said something about how holding a newborn child is the only time you really get to experience unconditional love.
I was speechless - flabbergasted.
I wanted to punch her, to shake her, to throttle her - and above all, *get her away from those children*!
Though my nieces love their granny.
But I had the image of her being this giant, sucking parasite, like a tick, or a flea, only huge.
I often think of her as this thing with tentacles, like a sea monster. Or that horrible thing in Aliens. Though not so much any more - I've 'shrunk' her power over me a lot, and I can *almost* (now) see her as just a little old lady.
But not quite yet.
Don't know if that exactly ties in with what you're saying - maybe you'll come back and say more, and we can see :-)
I have come to understand that my parents have a good relationship with my parents. They have come to understand that I do not and it is not by fault. That is a very good thing and pretty pure.
I do not know if my children will have children if they do I will be sure to remember it is easier to be a good grandparent than a parent.
Should have written. I have come to understand that my children have a good relationship with my parents not that my parents have a good relationship with my parents.
Perhaps a Freudian slip. Perhaps the problem is that my families relationships work for them.
I think I knew what you meant - though it did occur to me that you were saying, somewhat indirectly, that your parents were, maybe, a little narcissistic?
But yes, I think it's quite common for parents to get along with their grandkids better than their kids - not so much pressure, not so much responsibility - they can just have fun with it. Too bad it can't work that way first time round.
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