why does one child become the 'ousider' in a family?

I'm watching Legends of the Fall (getting another Aidan Quinn fix :-), and seeing the old Cain and Abel story playing itself out once again - the most perennially told and universal story there is, maybe? besides the love story.

And the romantic 'triangle', and the way that triangulation occurs over and over again, in varying combinations between brothers, fathers and sons, lovers, rivals.

All fighting for the same thing - to be 'the most loved', to win the heart of whoever it is whose love they seek.

Allegiances are continually shifting in this dance, this battle, for power, for supremacy - does it ever end, except through somebody's death?

I remember reading that same story told in multiple iterations (down through a series of generations) in Steinbeck's East of Eden.

It certainly continues to play out in *my* family, where the µ unit curries favor with whichever child she happens to be with at the moment - no 'loyalty' there! Reminds of that line from a song, "When you're not with the one you love, you love the one you're with..."

Human nature - so fickle, mercurial. One minute pining away for some unreachable, unattainable goal; the next, it's all forgotten - moved on to the next, the nearest. How else to explain 'the boy next door'? Convenience, proximity.

Anyway, I've once again wandered away from the topic. Which is ok.

It's just - what if there were a way for us not to *compete* for each others' love, affection, kindness, attention, appreciation? What if there were *always* enough to go around?

What if *each and every* human being was tended *so well* throughout her growing up that she needed no such bolstering, that *each* of us had an endless, bounteous supply of love to give, and, therefore, to receive? How can we get rid of the 'scarcity' mindset?