as if there was a specific time and place at which it all went wrong. More than once. And the compounded effect of all that was to flatten me into one of those post-Wile E. Coyote moments where I'm nothing more than a grease spot on the road.
My father was such a fucking hammer, emotionally. He flattened me, over and over again.
And what makes it worse is that I trusted him. If I'd never trusted him, if I'd always been on guard would things have turned out better? I don't know.
All I know is, one day I was in, like Flynn, the next day I was out. Out of favor, out of my father's heart, and nothing I could do forever after that ever won him back over.
I wish I could ask him: "Dad, why do you hate me so much? Why are you always mean to me? Why do you treat me as if I'm nothing and nobody, as if I don't matter to you at all, in any way, shape or form?"
About Me
- grasshopper
- Grasshopper is, at the moment, still 'under construction' :-) She's trying to learn, and trying to keep a 'beginner's mind' while doing so (hence the moniker). She is also stubborn, willful, headstrong and ornery. She does things her own way. (She's also trying to give up 'being nice'.)
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