guess I'm not off the hook

with the guilt thing as easily as all that.

All day I've been thinking about calling him ♥ or, on and off all day; at a certain point, I began to feel guilty for *not* calling him. As if I'd made a *commitment* to him, simply by setting the pattern of calling him every day for a week. As if *I* were solely responsible, and it was *my* fault if the 'relationship' failed.

Ringing any bells, yet, grasshopper? Echoes of practically *every* relationship heretofore in your life, of any serious significance? Starting with the 'rents, continuing with at least one of the bro's, aunts, uncles, grandparents, you name it.

Now of course there *have* been exceptions, but I never fall in *love* with them - no, it's not 'love' unless I have to *chase after him*. Argh.

So. Now I lay me down to sleep, and charge the *other guy* my GUILT to keep.

Hah! Put THAT in yer terbaccy smoker an' puff upon it.

***
Now, mind you, I'm not *blaming* myself. Merely attempting to *notice* a pattern.

And leap the sides of this mile-high groove that done wore itself into my psyche!

***
Actually, there *is* a difference this time. It may be an inch-worm-ish kind of difference, but nonetheless: I think I see *light* at the end of this here tunnel! And no, it's *not* an oncoming train, y'all pessimistic types!

***
But: I *want* to speak to him! To *heck* with all these silly rules. I think I'll call him tomorrow. :-)