in my mind

I fly with him, to places I cannot go alone (in this boys' club of a world.)

But - when I told him I wanted to see what he did? He eagerly drove me right out there to the tracks and spent a dedicated half hour driving me around showing me the trains, walking me through all the details of what he'd worked on and how things fit together, making sure I understood before moving on to the next thing.

His patience is incredible - I've never experienced anything like it.

It's funny - he lets me right in to these places where I've always felt I *belonged*, but could never get *in*. He opens doors for me effortlessly, freely, like it costs him nothing.

And it doesn't *feel* like it costs him anything - he seems to get great joy out of sharing it all with me.

It's like upside-down world - all the so-called progressive men I've known all my life? With them it's all hot air and bullshit, all about appearance and image and *seeming* to be a good guy. Yet, where the rubber meets the road? The one who *actually* lets me in where I've always wanted to go is a guy who talks like something out of some old-time bible story.

But he's not like that, really.

He even said, when we talked today (for almost two hours!) "So you're sayin' (in his Okie accent :-) my actions is louder than my words."

"Well, yeah," I said. "I mean, what I *experience* with you just isn't described by the words you say."

I asked him if he felt the need to be in charge with me, and he said, "No, you told me right up front that you were your own woman, and I respect that."

Yes, I'm puzzled, and delighted, and - both :-)