Eyes of love :-)

Learning to look at myself in the mirror
with love
instead of with

hatred
resentment
anxiety
criticism

I realize that I contain both
the viewer
and the viewee

as the shrinks say, I’ve ‘internalized’
the critical gaze
of my parents.

I think I’ve *finally*, finally, after all these long years of hard and persistent effort,
learned to
give myself a break.

I catch myself with that same critical, harsh, unfriendly, judgmental look on my face

that used to be so painful when my parents directed it at me

And I *change* it.

I smile.

I hold my *own* gaze in the mirror, and can *almost* do it now without feeling like a complete idiot or fearing someone will ‘catch’ me at it. Or accuse me of narcissism. Fuck ‘em – I gotta do what I gotta do. Weird-ass shit ensues, transitions through strange places. Ain’t no omelettes without breakin’ eggs, as somebody says.

So.

Learning to love myself
helps me see that
I *am* loveable.

And it opens the way to *receiving* love from others,
and not always remaining on the defensive, fearing rejection.

The rich get richer
the poor get poorer.

But if you don’t *see* yourself as poor, then maybe – you’re as rich as you feel?

Hm. Not sure about that one – platitudinositousness. Sounds like something that ought to be extinct :-)