Expected to be - like a man? only, with none of the rights and privileges accruing therefrom?

My father *expected* me to be like a man – self-sufficient, not ‘needy’ – because *he* couldn’t handle me being a woman *and* smart! The only way he could cope with it was if he didn’t *think* of me as female, but, sort of, eradicated, in his mind? my ‘female’ and/or feminine, attributes?

Interesting idea.

Mom was complicit because she taught me none of the feminine ‘arts’ – cooking, cleaning, wiles; she pretty much left me on my own. In fact, they both did, except when dad was in lecture mode and trying to ‘mold’ me into whatever *he* thought I should be.

Sigh.

Parents are *exhausting*. Why can’t they just let you *be*, for fuck’s sake???

I know – society *teaches* that children are ‘savages’ and must be, so-called, ‘civilized’ (hah!)

So parents are just trying to live up to the expectations and pressures placed on them by their culture at large.

Argh. The sins of the ‘fathers’ shall be visited on the ‘sons’, yea unto the – blah blah blah. Blech. P-TOO-ey. I spit it OUT.

***
So then mom, by her *own* needs, both to be taken care of *and* left to her own devices? basically, completely ignored me, except to ‘indoctrinate’ me into her *own* ‘belief’ system – that of the arts. For which I’m ever grateful, if a little skewed by it, in the process...

I grew to what I needed to be to fit the constraints place upon me.

And now I am free. (???!!??)

Except for the ‘chains’ in my head.

Grasshopper unbound! (boy, do I wish I could illustrate *that*!!!! :-) Prometheus got *nothin’* on ol’ Grassy :-) [hey, new nickname, I *like* it!]