So now, in the aftermath of having grown up in that kind of family, I often find myself feeling pre-emptively guilty for things I haven’t done yet, and don’t intend to do, but which I fear that I will be accused of.
How bizarre is *that*???
“Fear of being unfairly accused of things one didn’t do and has no intention of doing.” Hm. As ‘syndromes’ go, it’s kind of a mouthful.
Can I be guilty of something just because I’m aware that it might occur to some other person to *think* I’m guilty of it? Wow. The convolutedness of that is making my head hurt. Maybe that’ll be incentive to realize how *crazy* it is, and *stop* thinking things like that.
Unfortunately, behavior that is ‘trained’ in this way isn’t *really* subject to ‘rational re-programming’. You just gotta tough it out, and hope that people cut you some slack while you’re trying to find a new path through the wilderness of bizarre human interactions and untoward and unreasonable expectations.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
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1 comment:
Preemptive guilt--The solution is to come op with every possible scenario and have an answer to it. It is a lot of work but somebody has to do it. Smile.
May be out of line here I wonder if it is not that at 11 it became obvious that you were showing up your father. I know with my children it was when they were about three. I loved it. Still do.
I have said often that scrabble in my family is a contact sport. The way games went in my family was to play them until I would start always winning. Then a new game would be chosen. Th end result is I never played games. I can do jigsaw puzzles like no bodies business. I learned not to do them. I would just look at them and see where the pieces went.
I just found out that the rest of my family was going golfing in secret. Does not matter I can beat the lot of them left and right handed. Probably with my eyes shut. This is the weird part. They do not believe that I beat them even with a lower score. How they do that I have no idea.
I like the brain pan concept. I cook in a cold rolled steel wok. I never wash it except with salt. When I got it I put it in the oven and then took it our and rubbed it with oil. I used to eat cereal out of it. It was my only thing that I ate out off. I had a rose wood spatula, a nice knife, a fork a spoon and a glass. I might go back to that.
I find that somethings need to be sandblasted, some dissolved, some shipped away, some pulled and yanked, some gently washed away. perhaps you might want to consider different experiences need different was to be processed.
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