assuming the worst.

Gotta stop *doing* that!

The phone rings? First thing(s) that pass through my head are: All the people who *might* be upset with me for something I haven't done yet.

Then I see the phone number? Unless its for *sure* someone I know *doesn't* have any gripe with me? I *still* go down the list of "what did I fuck up *this* time?"

People *say* that comes from how you were brought up - but I wonder how much of it is innate human tendency? Or some kind of personality trait. Maybe goes along with the sensitivity, which *may* have actually been triggered by prenatal and post-natal stress - the whole 'body awash with stress hormones' coupled with a non-responsive, emotionally clingy/intrusive mother, could scare the *shit* (literally? :-) out of a newborn, who might actually just want to crawl right back *in* the womb and never come out. Blanky over head and all that. I *still* contend that my mother's stress was why it took 36 hours for me to be born - sensible little infant that I was? I wanted to stay in*side* where it was warm and cozy, and not be subjected to that woman's *insane* level of insecurity.

There, I said it.