just turned up the Death card.

Which typically means: Letting go of the past; re-birth. But some *old* part of you must die in order to let the new thing grow - I'm thinking of  how, on perennials, if you don't cut the old, dead growth off the plants in spring when the new green stuff starts showing, then the plant doesn't grow very well - the old stuff gets in the way.

But usually I wait til the new green stuff is actually *showing* before cutting away the old stuff.

In *my* case? What's the new green stuff *look* like? Would I even *recognize* it?

I wish I had a *reflection* from somewhere - a friend who could *see* this new growth of green. A 'gardener' type who'd tend to me properly, and help me *see* what's happening, and what I need to do (or *not* do!) next.

Also, I got woken up out of a dead sleep by somebody pounding on my door this morning, after only two hours of sleep, in the middle of a really good dream which I couldn't catch hold of.

My heart's been pounding ever since - can't seem to unwind once the adrenaline gets pumping.

Argh.