going round in circles

I think I'm going to disagree with the shrinks here.

Let's say it's not about boundaries.

Let's say that people are basically selfish; they give as much as they feel they have to to get what they need (and sometimes they'll give a little extra when they're feeling 'flush' because, hey, look what a benevolent son-of-a-bitch I am! Status seeking, status seeking - selling all the time [attempt at a little auction/marketing lingo there]).

Let's say that people only give if there's something in it for them.

It doesn't matter how small a 'thing' it is - could be prestige, could be a 'deposit' for anticipated future withdrawal from the 'relationship bank'.

The 'boundary setting' thing has more to do with power (ooh, now my brain's really getting tangled).

Have to stop and think about this for a minute.