why thinking about it doesn't do any good

Ok, so now I'm trying to figure out/explain what I said about experientiality (is that word??)

For me, I can understand a thing seven way from Sunday and it still doesn't do me a damn bit of good unless I can feel it.

So if somebody says, "I love you," it doesn't do me any good unless I can feel it, in my bones, in my gut.

And the interesting thing is, I can feel totally and completely loved by someone who's never ever said they loved me, more so than I feel it from someone who's professed many times to feel that thing for me.

That's why I say that love is experiential. That is, it doesn't matter what a person says, it only matters what they do. Or as mom used to say, "Your actions speak so loudly I can't hear a word you say."

So you can say you love me all you want, but unless you actually do something that makes me feel loved, I'm not going to feel it.

And this has nothing to do with rational thinking, or whatever; it has entirely to do with needs. I believe that genuinely feeling loved has to do with knowing that people in your life see you as you are and accept you exactly this way, and then, based on this knowing, they feed you what they know you need.