people terrify me

The main fallout from all this stuff with my parents (you can tell I'm finally succeeding in getting the anger out when I stop cussing) is that people terrify me.

I feel like I never have any clue what's going on between any two people - the interpersonal dynamics are completely baffling to me. Cause and effect seem to have no relationship whatsoever; shit happens, nobody takes responsibility, nobody talks about it; stuff piles up under the rug (from sweeping it under), and the elephant in the living room gets bigger and bigger.

And yet, as I read and read and read, searching for answers, trying to find the way to be 'normal', I discover more and more people who have no clue, either. People whose marriages fail because they can't communicate with one another. People whose friendships disintegrate because they can't work it out. Etc, etc.