shame attack

She humiliated me in front of the girls by saying, Well then, you can be excused, meaning from the table, which is her standard line for any child who's failed to toe her line as to what constitutes 'appropriate behavior' at that moment. Humiliated, I got up from the table, gave my brother the candy I'd meant to give the children for dessert, and left. But not without a parting shot, which felt to me like lobbing a grenade: ______, these constant power battles with your children SUCK.

She tried to cut me off with the classic, let's not talk about this in front of the children. Which is of course just another power play, to reinforce her power and undermine mine: Once again she remains on top, the king, the power is all hers. So I said, I'll believe it when I see it. I didn't want the children to see me defeated, for their sake as well as mine. I also don't want to SIL to think she has the upper hand. I WANT the children to begin to question their mother's motives and intentions, which are clearly not benign.