you must not speak of your pain

because you might hurt someone else in the process. You must just bottle it up, swallow it, let it eat you alive like some kind of cancer.

Other people's feelings are more important than yours. YOUR feelings are unimportant, do not matter. YOU are expendable. If YOU spend your life depressed and miserable, that's a price we (the family) are willing to pay to not have to face up to the ways in which we were total assholes to you.