who the fuck CARES if I don't live up to what's in my head?

Me. That's who.

The cognitive dissonance is what keeps me awake at night: The clash between reality and what we're TOLD is possible, the expectations we're held to.

Shoulds.
Feet to the fire.

But who's holding THEIR fucking feet to the fire, hm? That's what *I* want to know.

I'LL hold their feet to the fire for them, so they fucking KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. Fuckers, talking out of both sides of their goddamn mouths, holding ME to one standard, and THEMSELVES to another, entirely different, and MUCH< MUCH LOWER standard. If they hold themselves to ANY standard, at all, whatsoever.

Power plays, AGAIN.

I've said this a million times and will probably say it a million times more:
It's all about power. Who has it, and who doesn't.

And until you see this, you have absolutely NO chance. Not even the snowball's.

Hammer.

Have it.

Whether you choose to USE it or not is something YOU have to deal with, live with.

But HAVE one.

That's my best advice right now.