finally 'won'

a competition I didn't even know I was having.

I've had the same conversation with ♥ over

and over

and over. Theme and variations; second verse, much like the first. Etc.

And today? After zero radio contact for nearly a month? We started *out* friendly, congenial, inquiring after each others' state of being, the weather, testing the waters.

And then? We got down to it.

Seems that *every* conversation we've *had* since he left (two months ago!) has been about establishing 'dominance'.

I've heard this; I've read it over, and over, over - ad way *beyond* nauseum.

And now? I think I 'get' it. Finally.

But mang, am I ex*haust*ed.

He sounded exhausted, too.

In the end? I could tell I'd 'won' by the silence on the other end of the line - the only way he could 'win' was by not being the first person to hang up.

How ridiculous is *that*?

I have to lie down now.