people who've been hurt too many times

or have unfinished emotional business?

are often *unable* to respond 'naturally' to situations - there's a sort of - uncertainty? about them, the detritus from the past clogs the mental pipes, the emotional arteries, slows their reaction times.

It's a protective mechanism. Like an animal that goes into shock and curls up to keep itself from further damage?

Same thing. Only sometimes the 'curling up' has to be hidden, because humans are often as vicious as any jungle creature, and will attack and otherwise take advantage of a vulnerable, unprotected other.

That's why we need people to take care of us: So we'll have a safe harbor when our *own* little ship is full of holes and needs to be patched up.

It takes *time*, and a safe place to do the work.